Funny Stuff

It’s the official end of my birthday celebrations. We just had the office party for February birthdays. I have to say this has been one of the best birthdays ever for me. If this is any indication of what my year is going to be like, it’s going to be a good year indeed!


If I make it all day at work (and there’s no reason why I shouldn’t), this will be my first full week of work for this year! We’ve had a “winter break” day, holidays or snow days most every week, and I’ve taken a vacation day on one of the weeks we would have worked all week…so…this is my first full week of work for 2010. Wow. What a difference from the days of working “for” Mr. Big. I deleted my blog with all my Mr. Big stories, or I’d repost some of them. They were always good ones... good and gross that is… like the day he brought me his expense report and it had a booger on it. I told him to get if off my desk, and he denied that it was what it was…but it was. And I had to deal with it. Somewhere filed away in the cabinets of that company is an expense report with a booger on it. Yeah. And that paper doesn’t have any of my fingerprints on it, either. Don’t know how exactly I did it, but I did it.

Yeah. I don’t miss Mr. Big. I may have to do a recall from my memories and write some of them down, some are so outrageous that it’s hard to believe I dealt with it day after day after day. So different here, as different as night and day.

Ole Boy has a few good stories on him, too…

While at work one day, Ole Boy called and said, “You got time to hear something funny?"   “Sure, tell me something funny.”

He proceeded to tell me this story: “I was already dressed for work, you know, when I took Peppy for a walk. He did his thing, and when I scooped it up in the bag, I just hung it from my belt so that I could deposit it in the trash when I got back to the house." (It’s a small, black plastic bag.)

It was right before lunchtime when I get the phone call. The walk was hours before….

He continued “So, I was out on a call in a neighboring city, and I was talking to a lady, and my hand brushed up against this ‘thing’ hanging from my belt. I kept talking to the lady, but my mind is saying, ‘What is this?” I gave it a little feel, and it hit me what it was!”

You can imagine. I was literally cracking up. At work. With my coworkers  waiting for me to get off the phone and share the fun

Before we hung up, Ole Boy said, “These bags must be really strong, I didn’t smell a thing.” I couldn’t help but wonder if anyone else did! I asked him what he did when he realized, and he said, “I just excused myself and went to the restroom and got rid of it.” He told me he had already been to the office, and had been on three calls….

Have a great Friday….

Awards

Two people were generous enough to share blogging awards with me.  

The first one is from Margaret...she's a sweet young woman who is stronger than she realizes.  I have taken quite a liking to her.  She has a lot on her plate right now, and even though it doesn't always  feel like it, she's going to be just fine.  She gave me the very pretty Sunshine Award.    Thanks, Margaret!

The second award came from Autumn, whose blog is Living out Loud.   Thanks, Autumn!  This award came with the request to list seven things about myself.   I think I can do that:


1.   I like words.  I make up words like "flamage" to indicate whether or not there is enough coals in the fireplace to keep a fire going, or heatage, to indicate that we need some warmth in the room.   I'll say verbage for words used to describe something.    I've been keeping a list of the silly word verifications (that I hate) that I'm going to make a blog about one day, and will probably make up definitions to go along with the words.
2.  I insert an R into my vocabulary a lot...like Tarco Bell, or Warcovia Bank, or "Can I ask you a querstion?"   I don't know why.
3.  I can tell a pretty good story.   I can fabricate, prevaricate or tell the truth, depends on why I'm telling what I'm telling, and to whom.   This is not to be confused with being a compulsive liar.  Oh, no, no!  By the time I'm finished, you'll know what's real and what's just there for humor's sake.
4.  I don't mind pulling a pretty good prank.   ::::evil grin::::   I can sometimes be an instigator.  
5.  My mind is always churning out ideas, blog entries, stories...I'm not always good at following through to put them on paper...or online.
6.  My parents are still together, for over 50 years.   I'm very proud of them both.
7.  I don't like to be ignored.   However, that's my first line of punishment when someone has gotten on my list.   It's a mental list.    Sometimes folks get on my list, but I can't remember why...or I can't remember that they're on it.   My list-keeping may be a little faulty.

Glitter Graphics - Topglittergraphics

Blog awards generally come with "rules" of passing it along to others.   At this time, I'll have to defer until another time because I need to do a little research on who already has the awards.   Awards do make the blogging rounds, you know!

It's my birthday, y'all!

I've had a wonderful birthday weekend!   Ole Boy and I got up early yesterday and rode up to Nashville and spent the night.    Did I mention it's my birthday today?   I'm getting old...lol    Just a few pics from the Opryland Hotel that I wanted to share.   No, we didn't stay there, it was booked (and we couldn't afford it, anyway!)  But we did spend nearly two hours walking around.   We took a boatride...yes!  inside the hotel.  If you've never been there and are in Nashville, you should stop in and see it.  It's huge!

These pictures don't do it justice.

You wouldn't believe how many plants, trees, and flowers are inside the hotel,

and everyone of them are real!  

I understand these live up to 45 days after being cut!

Without the border, this pic looks 3D, doesn't it?

Yes, there were waterfalls inside the hotel!

Just beautiful!

And we got to take a boatride....I am not on this one....I'm standing on

one of the many overpasses taking this pic!  Sorry it's so dark.

I have other pictures of other things we did,

but I have to get ready to go back

to work tomorrow, so I must quit playing online!

But...I just had a wonderful time.  

Perfect.  

The weather was beautiful, the food was great...

the company was...lovely.   I love that man!

Later, Sweet Taters!

So, just what is a fat chick to do?

Today’s headlines in the local newspaper:

Judge’s $50,000 Raise Dead

Hmmmm.   Didn’t know you could buy that.

Glitter Graphics - Topglittergraphics

Question of the Day:  What's a fat chick to do?

Ways that I did not (permanently) lose weight:  Atkins, Carbohydrate's Addict, Weigh Down, Weight Watchers Flex Points, Weight Watchers Core, Weight Watchers Turnaround, Mayo Clinic Diet, SlimFast, The Rice Diet (which had nothing to do with rice, by the way), Dial-a-Meal, Overeater's Anonymous, diet pills, fat blockers, sugar blockers, counseling, dieting alone, dieting with a buddy, being humliated beyond belief by an inconsiderate relative at my grandmother's 90th birthday party, in front of everyone, when I was expected to read a poem I had written...which was a dang good poem, I might add...and I weighed about 50 pounds less than I do now. 

The list could go on.   And on.  Even trying to go sugarless is not working so well.   The one constant though the years?  Nothing has brought me lasting success.   Again I ask, what's a fat chick to do?   Folks who never had an obsession with food can't understand.   Some hold people like me in contempt, others think we just don't try, or we'd be thin.   Those who are in my shoes know better.   We don't know WHY, but we know that if we COULD have we already WOULD have.

Obese people generally  KNOW all the right stuff.   I know all the tricks and tips, and I’ve either had or heard all the ideas about losing weight, and I am painfully familiar with the failures of the various diets and diet aids.  (Morbidly obese people often lose sight of normal portions, though.)  Still, well-meaning folks want to help and they don’t understand why the advice “just eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full” or “try this diet,” or “So-and-so lost 50 pounds on that diet aid” doesn’t equate as an epiphany with me.    It’s because I’ve tried it, more than once, and I’m too diet-jaded to try it again.

After so many years of trying and failing, I have become quite cynical that anything will work.   I wish it was as easy as gaining a little self control, discipline, or will power.    Maybe it is, but if one has no clue how to get “there”…they probably won’t. 

Last year, I decided to go to counseling to see if there were any hidden issues that might be compelling me to eat.     Six months later, the counselor tells me that there’s just nothing else we can cover.    I can’t remember her actual words, but I haven’t heard from her in two months for another meeting.  Surprise!   

This morning I didn’t stop and get that Jack’s biscuit and fried taters that I was fantasizing about while in the shower.   I credit God with that because while I was still in the shower (I talk to God a lot while I'm soaping up and rinsing off) I told Him I just didn’t have the will to fight today, and that if He didn’t remove the binge-urge, I’d probably do it.   And it’s been a good day.  (Thank You, Lord)

Glitter Graphics - Topglittergraphics 
I understand that (according to some news source, filtered down to me through Ole Boy) that on February 12, all the continental states and Alaska had some snow somewhere in each state.   I don’t know if that’s a record or not.   Alabama is known as the cotton state.   As the snow melts out there, it’s beginning to look like a bad day in the cotton field.   A cotton accident with pieces strewn everywhere.   It’s not so pretty anymore.

On a closing note, I scored 90% on my Spanish test…and here I thought I was too old to learn a new language!

It's all about the Gulls

It's snowing again today...another day off. We are off on Friday, as well (unless we have to make up today) so I have a three day workweek. I haven't worked a full week this year. I got pretty close, but still haven't. I'm not complaining.

We've had more snow in 2010 than we've had in the last several years added together. What amazes me is that there is still green grass in my backyard.

Ole Boy and I went to Deibert Park on Saturday.  

The seagulls were everywhere!  I love those birds.

Gulls and Geese

And a Woodpecker in my backyard.

Have a great week, y'all!

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, not necessarily in that order...

It's been a heartbreaking week.   

Quick run down of the bad and the ugly:
Last Friday at a middle school here in North Alabama, a young boy shot and killed another young boy.   On Tuesday, a 12 year old middle student at another school took his own life by hanging himself (rumors include he was distraught over a girl, and his step father grounded him for bad grades, and that it was an accident, he was trying to pull a prank on his younger sister, and he somehow accidently followed through.  His younger sister was indeed the one who found him.)    Yesterday, I found out my sister-in-law has emphysema.   Today, at a different university, a faculty member shot and killed three other faculty members, woundered three other people, two of them critically; one is stable tonight.

The good news is that God is in control.   I don't have a clue why all this is going on right here in the heart of Dixie, but if you are a praying sort, there are many hurting people who could use your prayers.

Didn't see this Winter Wonderland coming....

I got up a little early so I could wash that gray right outta my hair.   About daybreak I opened the back door, and realized it was sleeting like crazy!   This really wasn't our forecast.    An hour later, it was still sleeting....shortly thereafter, it turned to snow.  I went on to work, and it was snowing the biggest flakes I'd ever seen in my little town.

This is looking out from the main entrance where I work:

 I didn't have the foresight to bring my camera, so I had to borrow one...and I couldn't find the zoom button until I was almost finished taking pictures (not because I wanted to quit, but because I killed the battery, lol).  I got absolutely covered in snow, and my hair was soaked.   I looked like a drowned rat...but I didn't care.   It was so pretty!

This is the view of the back entrance to my building.

Alabama doesn't get this kinda of snow very often.   We've had more snow in 2010 than we've had for the last several years put together. Must be that GORE-y global warming.  I heard on the NOAA weather radio that the record high for today for my area was 78°.   And that was way before global warming.

The birds are with my own camera, in my own backyard.

They closed the University at 11,

so I got to go home and enjoy the snow and the birds.

Today was Day One of no sugar.  

I did OK.   It was definitely easier today than yesterday (I was on a binge),

and I fully expect tomorrow to be even better.  

I might really be convincing myself, here.

Six Words and Other Stuff

¡Hola!, Amigas! (y amigos!)

Who wants to learn a little Español? Well, not me, apparently! I’m writing a blog instead of studying. Ah, but I’m learning a little at a time. I may not be as unable to grasp a foreign language as I originally thought. This is good news. I will know for sure on Friday when I take my first test.

Some clues for you (which have nothing to do with Spanish): Jethro, DiNozzo, Probie, Abby, and Ducky, what am I talking about?

My daughter and I went Wal-Marting this morning. She is going to have a baby…a little girl. This will be her fourth, two boys and now two girls. I’m hoping she names this one Final. Names she has mentioned are Ginger Elle and Ida Claire…Briar Olivia. I’m going to suggest Olivia Claire. (I am almost certain Ginger and Ida were to get me riled…she “do love” to do it to me.)

After Wal-Mart, she and I went to get a biscuit at Bojangles (good biscuits, by the way, it was my first trip there) and stopped near some sea gulls basking in the cold Kmart parking lot, and fed them biscuits and eggs and sausage…I so wished I’d had my camera! Those birds are so cool!  One did foo foo on my car.   I assume that is gull language for "Thank You."   Who knew?

I woke up at 4 a.m., like I do way too often. This is after waking up several times before 4, but able to go back to sleep. I got up and fiddled with the fire. I do not like going outside at 4 a.m. to get fire wood. Don’t like it anytime after midnight, as a matter of fact. I finally went back to bed around sunrise, and I dreamed about NCIS’s McGee being chased by shadows…guess I shouldn’t have watched two full episodes before I went to bed last night. Of course, the clues above are NCIS characters. I have decided I like this show best of all the cop shows.

And those early morning hours when I can’t sleep! The voices in my head may not be real, but late at night and in the wee hours of morning, they solve all the world’s problems. If only I could remember the solutions when I do get up and get going…


Notes to self:
Starting a fire with wet wood really doesn’t work.
Never look at my face in a 15x magnified mirror. Never. Ever.
Lay off the sugar.

Side note on sugar: I did so much better in January with no sugar than I have in February with sugar. Come Monday, I will be doing the sugarless thing for a week just to see if it is indeed easier. If so, I think Adkins…or Adkins lite will become the plan of the year.

And (drumroll please!) it's that time again....Six Word Saturday!

Cate, who talks about showing her face,

but we (or at least I) haven't seen it yet,

hosts the Six Word Saturday Challenge.

Visit her for more SWS entries!

And that is all!

Adios!

Ice Forest and Icy Mood

Southern Tennessee on Sunday

An Ice Forest

Close Up

It was very pretty.

I've been in a funk lately.   A little depressed, a lot of negative thinking.

I know how to preach it, Baybee, but I don't know how to practice it!

I need to change the name of my blog, eh?   I am certainly not amusing lately.

I am too ashamed shy to tell my real weight loss story here.   I've visited some blogs lately where the ladies really put it all out there...the pictures, the numbers...I wish I had that tenacity.   I have a story to tell, that's for sure...with lots of ups and downs.   I know I will be victorious, but at this moment, I am not feeling it.  

If I were to start a private journal with the pictures and the numbers, would anybody want to be a reader?   I may lack the confidence to send invitations out.   Although, if I follow through with making the blog (I have it named) I probably will send out a few invitations.  

I'm really irritable.  Not sure to yell or pout.  I'm sure part of it is hormonal.   Another part is questions, questions, questions that go unanswered.

I need to be studing some Spanish.

I weighed yesterday....official weight (or as official as I can get it because my starting weight was at my doctor's office.   My "now" weight is from my scales.  

At anyrate, it's 14 lbs.

Why do I feel so out of sorts?

Ah, but this will cheer me a little...

Stuff

Good Morning!

I can't believe it's Monday morning already again.   Since my two weeks off for Christmas, I have not worked a full week...I wonder if I will this week.    The first week back, we had a snow day, the second week I took annual leave on Friday so that I could have a four day weekened because we were off on Monday for MLK/REL Day.   Last week, we got half a day on Friday because of Ice.   So, we'll see for this week...

Speaking of ice...there wasn't much of it on Friday.   The roads were mostly clear, maybe a patch of ice here or there.   I didn't see any....but there was a lady named Dawn, 37, driving with her 9 year old daughter, Maggie, and a friend named Diana, 41, and Diana's 13 month old grandaughter, Jayden, who apparently hit a patch of ice and slid into the path of an oncoming tractor trailer.   Maggie and Diana were pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital, Baby Jayden died Saturday.   Dawn is still in critical condition.

Surviving Diana is her 17 year old daughter, Shandi, who is Jayden's mother.

I was going to write about other things....I really don't have the heart to now.