Today’s headlines in the local newspaper:
Judge’s $50,000 Raise Dead
Hmmmm. Didn’t know you could buy that.
Question of the Day: What's a fat chick to do?
Ways that I did not (permanently) lose weight: Atkins, Carbohydrate's Addict, Weigh Down, Weight Watchers Flex Points, Weight Watchers Core, Weight Watchers Turnaround, Mayo Clinic Diet, SlimFast, The Rice Diet (which had nothing to do with rice, by the way), Dial-a-Meal, Overeater's Anonymous, diet pills, fat blockers, sugar blockers, counseling, dieting alone, dieting with a buddy, being humliated beyond belief by an inconsiderate relative at my grandmother's 90th birthday party, in front of everyone, when I was expected to read a poem I had written...which was a dang good poem, I might add...and I weighed about 50 pounds less than I do now.
The list could go on. And on. Even trying to go sugarless is not working so well. The one constant though the years? Nothing has brought me lasting success. Again I ask, what's a fat chick to do? Folks who never had an obsession with food can't understand. Some hold people like me in contempt, others think we just don't try, or we'd be thin. Those who are in my shoes know better. We don't know WHY, but we know that if we COULD have we already WOULD have.
Obese people generally KNOW all the right stuff. I know all the tricks and tips, and I’ve either had or heard all the ideas about losing weight, and I am painfully familiar with the failures of the various diets and diet aids. (Morbidly obese people often lose sight of normal portions, though.) Still, well-meaning folks want to help and they don’t understand why the advice “just eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full” or “try this diet,” or “So-and-so lost 50 pounds on that diet aid” doesn’t equate as an epiphany with me. It’s because I’ve tried it, more than once, and I’m too diet-jaded to try it again.
After so many years of trying and failing, I have become quite cynical that anything will work. I wish it was as easy as gaining a little self control, discipline, or will power. Maybe it is, but if one has no clue how to get “there”…they probably won’t.
Last year, I decided to go to counseling to see if there were any hidden issues that might be compelling me to eat. Six months later, the counselor tells me that there’s just nothing else we can cover. I can’t remember her actual words, but I haven’t heard from her in two months for another meeting. Surprise!
Ways that I did not (permanently) lose weight: Atkins, Carbohydrate's Addict, Weigh Down, Weight Watchers Flex Points, Weight Watchers Core, Weight Watchers Turnaround, Mayo Clinic Diet, SlimFast, The Rice Diet (which had nothing to do with rice, by the way), Dial-a-Meal, Overeater's Anonymous, diet pills, fat blockers, sugar blockers, counseling, dieting alone, dieting with a buddy, being humliated beyond belief by an inconsiderate relative at my grandmother's 90th birthday party, in front of everyone, when I was expected to read a poem I had written...which was a dang good poem, I might add...and I weighed about 50 pounds less than I do now.
The list could go on. And on. Even trying to go sugarless is not working so well. The one constant though the years? Nothing has brought me lasting success. Again I ask, what's a fat chick to do? Folks who never had an obsession with food can't understand. Some hold people like me in contempt, others think we just don't try, or we'd be thin. Those who are in my shoes know better. We don't know WHY, but we know that if we COULD have we already WOULD have.
Obese people generally KNOW all the right stuff. I know all the tricks and tips, and I’ve either had or heard all the ideas about losing weight, and I am painfully familiar with the failures of the various diets and diet aids. (Morbidly obese people often lose sight of normal portions, though.) Still, well-meaning folks want to help and they don’t understand why the advice “just eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full” or “try this diet,” or “So-and-so lost 50 pounds on that diet aid” doesn’t equate as an epiphany with me. It’s because I’ve tried it, more than once, and I’m too diet-jaded to try it again.
After so many years of trying and failing, I have become quite cynical that anything will work. I wish it was as easy as gaining a little self control, discipline, or will power. Maybe it is, but if one has no clue how to get “there”…they probably won’t.
Last year, I decided to go to counseling to see if there were any hidden issues that might be compelling me to eat. Six months later, the counselor tells me that there’s just nothing else we can cover. I can’t remember her actual words, but I haven’t heard from her in two months for another meeting. Surprise!
This morning I didn’t stop and get that Jack’s biscuit and fried taters that I was fantasizing about while in the shower. I credit God with that because while I was still in the shower (I talk to God a lot while I'm soaping up and rinsing off) I told Him I just didn’t have the will to fight today, and that if He didn’t remove the binge-urge, I’d probably do it. And it’s been a good day. (Thank You, Lord)
Glitter Graphics - Topglittergraphics
I understand that (according to some news source, filtered down to me through Ole Boy) that on February 12, all the continental states and Alaska had some snow somewhere in each state. I don’t know if that’s a record or not. Alabama is known as the cotton state. As the snow melts out there, it’s beginning to look like a bad day in the cotton field. A cotton accident with pieces strewn everywhere. It’s not so pretty anymore.
On a closing note, I scored 90% on my Spanish test…and here I thought I was too old to learn a new language!
I know what you are saying about weight loss. I just wish that more people would get it as well. It isn't easy to lose the weight.
ReplyDeleteIt took bad kidneys and two surgeries on my right kidney for me to realize that my doctor was right, I had to do something about what I was eating. The first time around I ignored my doctor and all of his orders and just did what I wanted. I ate what I wanted and when I thought about how big I was I ate even more. I totally understand the diet ups and downs and the frustrations at trying to lose the weight. When I counted calories I got so stressed out that I would toss out whatever paper I was keeping track on by noon and then stuff my face with an entire package of oreos simply because I'd already gone over the limit why not indulge. I prayed about it too, and I wish I had some kind of "here's what I did it works for everyone!" fix for you but I don't. I'll be praying for you though, you can get through this, but you're going to need God's help and it doesn't get easier from here :(
ReplyDeleteWishing I had better advice,
~Autumn
You know you talk about spanish class. I have been thrown into subbing for spanish twice in the last two weeks. I remember very little but I always impress the kids with this....Hola! Me llamo Senorita S..... They are all in awe and think I know spanish. If they ask a question, I reword it back to them and they usually get it. And to think these kids think subs know everything.
ReplyDeleteI liked what Autumn said; prayer and knowing you are going to need God's help. I'm glad that God removed that binge-urge and you stayed away from the food you were tempted to eat. this could be that thorn of flesh that Paul talks about in your life; might be something you'll always be praying for and about.
ReplyDeletegood for you for the 90% on the Spanish test!!!
okay, came up with some other thoughts (thank you Lord) when I was switching clothes from the washer to dryer; bet you didn't even know I was gone, LOL
look into Celebrate Recovery; perhaps that might help; see if there's one in your area
also, this scripture came to me
Jeremiah 32:27 I am the Lord the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?
I prayed that a lot in other seasons of my life. Gone pray that for you that God is the God of the impossible for him to completely (and in his timing, but hopefully quickly) he heals you of your food addiction
sending you a hug
betty
I know exactly what you mean about the weight. I know that only God is going to be able to move THIS mountain! I just wish I could figure out what He wants ME to do on my side!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the Spanish test! That's a GREAT score! Linda
wonderful on the grade! ya know that's something i always wanted to do...loved your comment about the disappearing snow and cotton fields...so true. lol as for all your other words...ya know i understand more than most. love you.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post - lurve your honesty my beautiful friend! And congratulations on your test score, that is wonderful! Keep up the good work and studying! :)
ReplyDeleteThere's an award for you on my blog :)
ReplyDeleteGreat job in Spanish!! I know that I have been trying to lose weight FOREVER, and when I say trying I mean... I will do ANYTHING to lose weight. ANYTHING!
ReplyDeleteWell, except diet and exercise.
Love to you!
Amanda