Two Cent Tuesday

Just my two cents worth.

You may want change.

Hopefully, my “two cents worth” won’t leave you wanting change.   Speaking of change, am I the only one who has a tough time with change?   I doubt it.   “Change” takes effort.  “No change” is the path of least resistance, and the path most taken, even by God’s children.

People often call all everyone “God’s children.”   That’s not so.   All humans are God’s creation; those who are born again through Christ are God’s children.   And too many of His children don’t have a clue exactly who they are.

I still don’t know who I am…nor what I want to be when I grow up.   I do love my job atmosphere, but if I had been a little smarter when I was younger, I would have a career, not just a job.    But as jobs go, I have one of the best, I am truly blessed.

I started selling Avon about six weeks ago.   I was pretty sure I would like it, and so far, I’ve enjoyed the whole process.   I do think the lady who signed me up could have been a little more informative, but it has all worked out.

I really hate exercise.   Walking was about the only work out I was willing to do, but that’s out because my foot is still giving me issues.   I have free access to gym equipment where I work.   One would think I’d take full advantage of that since, after all, I am losing weight.  But going to the gym would involve change. 

I really prefer the path of least effort. 

I was invited to be an “iposter” for the Christian Post.   I was not even sure what that was…other than a consolation prize because they wouldn’t let me blog.  I suppose with as often as I update this blog, two blogs might be asking a bit much.   I submitted an article, which they posted on their facebook, which garnered a lot of comments, and may I say not everyone is nice in their comments...and many comments were just commenters arguing with each other. 

I’m arguing with myself because I really need to get back to work. 

Have a great Tuesday!

My Day on a Fork

I ate the fork!   A small piece of it anyway.   It was plastic…I don’t think I’ll die.   At least I didn’t eat the bones.  Don’t ask how it happened.   It ain’t pretty, nor is it exciting.

I have mentioned before that I deleted my account with Huffington Post because they are so biased.   (I’m biased, too, but I’m partial to my own biases.)   I now have an account at the Christian Post, and I have found out that commenters are the same everywhere.   Opinions get in the way of facts, and facts are often so stretched they are no longer “fact.”   Some people also feel compelled to be sure that you agree with them precisely; general agreement is not enough!

I applied to be a blogger at Christian Post.   I thought I was registering, but I was actually applying.   Had I realized that, I may have backed off the “Brown Recluse” moniker.   Do you think it creeped anyone out?  Heheh.  They don’t accept everyone, as it turns out, including me.  I would have reapplied, but they are too smart for me.   Now when I click on the link, it goes nowhere.   Maybe they know the ol’ Brown Recluse has nothing much to say…or maybe they know I like the word “ain’t.”   It ain’t fair, I tell you.  One thing I really wanted to blog about in depth on the Christian Post that I don’t do here is my weight loss journey, learning to trust God and do His will over my own, and how that's the only way I have success on this venture.   

Can I tell you a semi-secret about myself?  I can write all day long, but when I come across long posts like mine, I sometimes have a very hard time focusing all the way through.  My brain usually has 25 different thought processes going at any one time.  Reading can be a self-inflicted challenge if my attention isn’t grabbed immediately.

I’ve been writing on this entry all day.   

I guess it’s time to call it done and post!

I hope your weekend is grand.  

Whack, Oh!

I trimmed my bangs, and boy, did I!  They are too short to fix and too short to disguise the whack-job I performed.   I look like the pictures my mom has of herself when she was in elementary school.   I don’t look that young, unfortunately.   I just look like a redneck.  Really.

   Once upon a time, I was an impetuous chick, outspoken and often brash, and I said what I thought.   (Thankfully, those days were pre-blogosphere, so there’s no proof I said those things.) These days, I am more aware of the fact that not everyone thinks like I do, and I do not want to offend people I genuinely like, who think differently than I do.    I don’t even know 1) if they read this blog, 2) if they would be offended because my opinion is different than theirs, or 3) if they think I’m whacky. 

People do have a way of getting bent out of shape when you don’t see things the same way they do.   If you have any doubts about that statement, go to any web news site and pick an article about a controversial topic, and read the comments.   Oy vey!  I usually have to stop reading comments because those folks are worse whack jobs than my bangs.

I have been losing the weight I regained.   It’s a slow process…slower because I tend to eat more over the weekend, but no sugar.  Sugar is whack!  It is for me, anyway.   I thank the Lord with all my heart for getting it though my thick skull that sugar is not my friend.   August 13 will be one year exactly, and I plan to have lost 100 pounds by then.   I will still have weight I want to lose after that milestone.   I’m not going to stress/obsess over it.   I’ve done enough of that to last four lifetimes.    Food obsession is whack!

What exactly does “no sugar” mean?   For me, it generally means no cookies, cake, or candy of the sugar variety.   (I do eat sugar-free treats, and I am able to stop on one serving.  For some reason, one piece of cake or one chocolate chip cookie sets me on a sugar grazing trajectory that culminates in a two day…or two week…binge.   It shouldn’t be that way, but I can’t deny that it is.  That’s whack!

Getting older is whack, too.  My hair!  It used to be beautiful, now it…you guessed it!  It’s Whacky!  Frizzy, thinning, and gray if I give it have a chance to grow some uncolored roots.  My skin!  Pores the size of craters, and lines that cannot be concealed.    And now that I’ve lost weight, I have sags and bags…what’s a whacked-up chick to do?   “They” say exercise will help the sags.   I have to say I don’t want to exercise unless I know for a fact it will help.  Exercise is whack!

That's all the whack-oh words I have for today.

Justice for Zimmerman?

I wasn’t in Sanford, Florida on February 26, 2012, when Trayvon Martin lost his life at the age of 17.  This young man has been hailed both as villain and victim, as has George Zimmerman, who was found not guilty in the young man’s death.  I kept up with the details of the trial via a biased media.  No matter what the truth is, and only Mr. Zimmerman and God know that, the media is slanted toward liberalism.  People are extremely passionate about this case.   I wish folks would be just as passionate about countless other cases, including the case of Antonio Santiago.  

Shortly after the jury convened for deliberation, scripture from Isaiah 59 came to my mind.    Verse 4) No one calls for justice, nor does any plead for the truth…, and verse 15)…Then the Lord saw it, and it displeased Him that there was no justice.   I prayed that justice would prevail…God’s justice…not what the hordes of people see as justice.   The Bible says that the foundation of God’s throne is justice and righteousness.   Justice is referenced over 500 times throughout the Bible.   God loves justice (Psalm 37).  Justice is no small matter, ever.  

When things do not make sense, or seem wrong, we remind ourselves that God is in control.  Indeed He is…and perhaps he intervened for Zimmerman.   If it is true that young Mr. Martin was on top of Mr. Zimmerman, banging his head into the concrete (and there is evidence to substantiate that claim), then I could accept that Mr. Zimmerman believed his life was in danger.   I am not saying Martin was trying to kill Zimmerman, only that I could see how Zimmerman may feel his life was in jeopardy.

Regardless of what the jury as said, if Mr. Zimmerman did indeed cold-bloodedly kill young Mr. Martin, justice will prevail, because God’s throne would topple if He allowed an injustice to go unanswered.  We may not personally see the injustice addressed, but God will address all wrongs.   If Mr. Zimmerman is innocent (and God does know Zimmerman’s heart) then He will also address the injustice done to Zimmerman.   God’s ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts.  Jesus judges the intents of the heart (Hebrews 4).  When we speak against another human being, we have put ourselves in place of God as judge.  We absolutely cannot judge Zimmerman’s thoughts that night, nor the intents of his heart.  God can.

As per the laws of the land, a jury heard the details of the case, and after 15 hours of deliberation, decided that there wasn’t enough evidence in favor of convicting the man of murder or manslaughter.  I watched the video of Zimmerman hearing that the jury had found him not guilty.  His expression showed no triumph.  No smile; no high fives, no fist pumping “Yeah!”  He stood there knowing that even so, young Mr. Martin’s life was no more, and the lives of his family and friends were forever altered.   Mr. Zimmerman’s life, too, is forever altered, and as of yet, he will be allowed no rest…the Justice Department now reviewing the verdict. 

And we will see how the story goes…

Oh, The Sticky Web

I got caught in the web!  I was totally unaware that I was snared until I was completely nestled deep in the cocoon of that familiar place called Binge, the pit I called "Home" for years.   Excuses?   Yeah, I have them, a whole list!

• I relaxed on not eating carbs.
• I suffered a stress fracture and an arthritically painful ankle joint, which kept me from walking.
• I ate sugar, thinking that I was strong enough to walk on the edge of addiction and not fall in.
• I fell in.  
• I thought I’d pulled myself out until…
• Someone hurt my feelings.  It felt a lot better to eat than to not eat…especially since I was already in the pit.

The 90 pounds I had previously is less than 80 now.

I am refusing to weigh for a few days.

One thing I’ve noticed on this downward spiral is that not only did my old eating habits come back full force (a place I NEVER thought I’d be again) but so did my “stinking thinking.”    I didn’t binge every day these past weeks, but I relied on myself to climb out of this pit, and it’s too slippery a slope for me to get out on my own strength.

I’m back at Square One, 

and that’s a much better place to be than the pit.  

I wanted so much to believe that I could have my sugar and eat it, too...but at this point I don't think I can.  I feel better physically, I am in a better mental place when I am sugar free.  One year ago, I would have told you that giving up sugar was NOT freedom...it was the staple of my diet!  I have since changed my mind.  If you are struggling with your weight, I implore you to seek Christ first...He is your answer...and listen when you start getting the answers you seek.   You may not like it (at first).  I rebelled against giving up sugar for years!  It really is worth it.

In April, I wrote the following "Zingers."  I have added one at the bottom and reposted today.   

• It’s going to take more time than you planned for or wanted it to.
• If you weigh every day, be prepared for fluctuations and say no to discouragement.  Patience is vitally important.
• You may possibly temporarily gain weight with exercise.
• There will be days you don’t do everything “right.”
• There will be days you don’t do anything “right.”
• If you rely on your own strength, you will invariably struggle.
• If you rely on God’s strength, you can pick up on Monday where you left off on Friday…after that weekend food-fest.   And He will help you to overcome those overdone weekends and/or nights.
• God hears every prayer for freedom, but He requires you to believe that you have what He has already paid for with the blood of His son, our precious Jesus.
• You will hit plateaus.
• Some plateaus last a long time.   Again, patience.
• You may need to give up sugar.  It certainly helped me.
• You can do this…even if you need to lose 175 pounds.
• You don’t have to wait until Monday to start.
• You don’t have to wait until tomorrow to restart.
• When you fall (and you probably will), reach for Jesus, He is your Rock.