Monday Musings...The Snark Edition

Dear Student:
I felt so sorry for you. All you could do was lie there and cuss, and cuss you did! I know that really hurt. But…uhm…if you’d been watching where you were walking instead of texting, I am almost certain you would have seen the little brick wall that nearly broke your shin bone...because, after all, in your lack of paying attention, you had veered completely off the sidewalk.

Dear Melissa Harris-Perry:
Good grief! You reproduced! Lord, help us all!

Dear Jimmy Fallon:
I get you and Jimmy Kimmel mixed up. Which one of you took Jay Leno’s spot again?

Dear Huff Post:
Why is it that when someone “comes out,” it is headline news for days and days? Is this really any of anyone’s business?

Dear Parent:
Sometimes kids just turn out good despite your lack of effort. I can’t explain it, same way I can’t explain the best intentions produce some troubled teens/adults.

Dear Piers Morgan:
Good riddance! TaTa! Skidaddle! Be gone, and be gone quickly! So happy to be rid of you! Go home! Please don’t come back.

Dear Nashville:
Sorry about all those germs I brought you over the weekend. I really intended to feel much better…I even took a needle in the derrière to speed up recovery (only it didn’t)…and then I picked up something else on top of the cold I already had by the time I got there.

Dear Nashville Relatives:
Yeah…you wouldn’t have enjoyed my company.

Dear Hand Santizer:
I realized as I was slathering up my hands that *I* was the germy one.

Dear Sister:
Don’t tell me! I don’t believe that if I wasn’t using so much hand sanitizer I might not be sick. I haven’t been sick in a good while, but when I do it, I apparently like to do it double-whammy style.

Have a great week, Y’all!

Thursday...

My Back Yard

Ole boy and I often eat our dinner in a restaurant.  Last Friday night, we hit the Chinese buffet.  (Obviously, I’m not low-carbing it lately…and my MayPop jeans are showing it!  They may pop anytime!)   I didn’t eat as much as I usually do, and the half-eaten egg roll and left over few pieces of shrimp went into a sandwich bag I happened to have for Mr. Gibbs and Roscoe.  I should have realized something was up when the manager (owner?) came over to my table to ask, in his heavily accented English, if everything was OK, and if I needed a “to go” box.   They had never done that before.  

When we got up to pay, Ole Boy went to the register and I stood near the door, but I noticed that same manager-person gesturing my way.   I walked over to see what was going on.  Ole Boy was having a hard time understanding him, but I caught that he was going to charge extra for my meal.  Neither of us could figure out what he was talking about (especially since I ate less that I normally do, and I was not the biggest person in the place!).  I finally figured out it was because I’d put those few left-overs in my “doggie bag.”   I pulled it out to show him it was just a few half eaten morsels.   He then calmed down and didn’t charge extra.  But I was really embarrassed...there's no telling what the other customer's were thinking about the commotion.  Probably won’t go there again for a good long while…which will be a handy tool for staying low carb.  Ole Boy and I have had a few giggles about it...I just hope no one thought I was trying to steal food.

Ole boy and I were discussing what to do for my upcoming birthday weekend.   “After all,” he said, “how many times do you turn 50?”    “That depends,” I said, “on how many times I lie about it.”   (I think I might possibly lie about my age if it wasn't a sin.)   I haven’t seriously lied about my age in a good many years…though having to say "I’m 50" might tempt me a little.  Maybe I will just cast looks of great disdain to anyone who would dare to ask my age.      

I am disappointed in my lack of snow.   I often say that if the weather man calls for it, we don’t get it; if they say “no accumulation,” that’s when we get it.   Case in point, the last few days:   Monday night they said “little or nothing” and we got nearly two inches (certainly enough to close the schools and half the town).   Last night and today they said 3 to 5 inches…we’ve barely got a wet dusting.   I remember one instance when snow wasn’t even mentioned in the forecast.  I was on my way to work and it was snowing the biggest flakes…so pretty!  And it snowed a good five inches that day. 

These are shots from other years, because 

there not much to photograph around here today.

The (frozen) Rock Pile...TVA Reservation

Winter Wonderland somewhere in Southern Tennessee

 

UNA

 

Flashback Friday

Remember that bad mood I mentioned?  I still have it.   If you read this whole post, you may end up in a bad mood, too.   Be forewarned. 

UNA snow...a few years ago

Rememberwhen I mentioned losing my custom domain name?  It’s still causing me issues, and I still hate Google.   Now, I find out that all my links to other pages in my blog are broken.   I fix them as I find them, but I link back to prior posts a lot.   And I find that everyone “following” me before the Google-debacle no longer gets notification that I’ve posted.   For those who signed up for email updates before…I don’t know if they still get those updates.   At this point, I’m doubting it.  I am seriously thinking of changing to WordPress. 

UNA Snow...it was an unexpected big one

Remember that low carb new lifestyle I embarked upon?   Yeah.  That is mostly a memory these days. 

Remember mytorn fingernail I mentioned yesterday?   This morning, I smashed my pinky while putting wood in the fireplace.  You’d be surprised to know how much one uses a pinky while typing.   It’s painfully noticeable to me today.

Cades Cove, Great Smoky Mountains (I caught
that bird just one second before he flew away.)

I hope that America makes some smarter choices on the next two elections.   VP Biden can’t think of “any obvious reason to not run for president.”  Really, he said that.   Then again, we do have to consider the chosen leaders that keep getting elected…no wonder he can’t think of any good reason.   America is in a mess, and deception abounds.  Thrives.  Flourishes. Proliferates.  Pontificates lies and distortions of truth.   I find it astounding (and disturbing) that Christians voted for the current administration.  Twice. 

The heaviness of the paragraph above lends to my bad mood.  Every news source is just more of the same sensationalized stories, and there is rarely any good news reported, even on Christian news sites.  I am so thankful that I know Jesus, because if I didn’t and had to live in this world, I believe I would be overwhelmed with the confusion and disorder.   I will spare you any further political rant in this post…but you know I will touch on it again.  Too many Christians are silent about what is happening in America, and mistakenly believe that God and government do not need to mix.

If you ever doubt America is drowning in deception, just read the comments on any online news source. 

My backyard...snow from a years ago

My final Friday Flashback…a previous post from 2011

Shutting out current events and closing my eyes, I go back to being a carefree little girl with flowing brown hair and cat-eyed glasses.   I remember how pleased I was for a nickel reward, which meant five pieces of bubble gum, which would promptly all go into my mouth.   The biggest bubbles could only be blown with a mouthful of gum!   A nickel would also buy a six ounce Coke if you went to Underwood Elementary.  Five cents would buy at least five pieces of candy, or a little box that held even more.  My shielded world consisted of family, church, school, and my little circle of friends.  

This morning, I long for a simpler day…

…back to the time where the biggest problem I had was not being able to find my glasses.   (To this day, certain relatives won’t let me live one particular incident down, when I put them in my grandfather’s denture container…which truly grosses me out now...and all my cousins were enlisted to help find them.  No one did until Grandpa took his teeth out that night.)   In those days, spending the night with Lisa or Tammy was all the entertainment I needed, and entertained I was.  There was no need for Wii, Nintendo, or DX games.   We had Monopoly, Parcheesi, Chinese Checkers and Barbie.  Before cell phones took parents away from small children, I could talk to my mom in the car, and she talked back to me.   It breaks my heart to see so many parents ignoring their children as they do everything with a phone stuck to their ear. 

Oh, how I long for a simpler day…a nickel day…when life was less hectic, less demanding; quieter in my little world. 

I hope your day is a Nickel Day…

My backyard

Thursday's Thoughts

:::Yawn:::  I love my dogs…but.   

(Not to be confused with loving my dog's butt.) 

Two nights ago, Roscoe (aka Rocco) kept waking me up whining because he wanted treats.   Spoiled!   He did get one, but apparently he wanted to pull a Margaret and binge.   He wasn’t allowed the opportunity; hence the whining.   Last night, I stepped outside around 3 a.m. to get another log for the fire, and both Rocco and Mr. Gibbs followed me out.   They immediately spied some intruder (neighborhood dog, I suspect) and before long, the whole neighborhood was awake.  Except Ole Boy…because he can sleep through an earthquake that happens after the tornado that he also slept through.

After I finally got the dogs back in the house, I said something to Ole Boy that wasn't very nice, because I thought he was still in bed after all the commotion.  Imagine my surprise when he answered...he had finally decided to wake up.

This long, cold winter is wearing me out. :::shiverMeTimbers::: And my dry skin!  I need spring!  

I’ve had a case of the mully-grubs lately.  I’m not sure if it’s the cold or my upcoming birthday.   I really thought I wasn’t going to have any issues with turning 50…after all, I am actually admitting my age this year.  But I did have a moment of panic when the work email went out that we would be having my “Big O” party this month.  That was the first time I’d felt a little angst.  Then Ole Boy mentioned something about “no longer being in my forties.”  Yeah, that didn't help.  Then I tripped going down the stairs at work and broke a fingernail when I caught myself on the railing...which really isn't a big deal, especially when you consider that I didn't fall down the stairs...but it made me tear up anyway.   That's when I decided to place blame on my birthday.  Ding Dang 50's.

So when I noticed that I was irritable and whiny (ok, more irritable and whiny than usual) I consoled myself by formulating some snarky blog posts in my head that included things like: 

Dear Lady:

You are too old to wear a skirt that short.  And it’s way-yonder too cold for that!

Dear Person:

You must be talking in circles, or I am hearing in squares, because that just sounds stupid.

Dear Other Person:

Please shut up.  I feel assaulted.

You get the idea.  And some of the things I wanted to say weren't nice at all…you know, like the nice things I said above. 

So, yeah.  My birthday.  This cold weather.   My normal attitude.   Probably not a good combination.   I should doodle more and think less.   Here’s a doodle I did some months ago.  I was surfing the net looking at other people’s doodles, and came across several that looked like this…so I did one for myself.     

If I could figure out Picasa, I would have cropped and framed it...
it's in a bound graph-paper book, so it was a little difficult to scan.

Have a great day!