Tuesday's Woes

A Retraction

Regarding my previous entry, I sent Ole Boy a picture of the “thing” in my water yesterday.   The joke was on me.   Appears Ole Boy heeded my "that plant needs something" comment and threw a fertilizer stick in a bottle of water "to dissolve" and PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE!!???!!    I guess I should explain to him how to (1) use the sticks (stick in the soil, water, and let it slowly dissolve), and (2) to be wise about where you put potentially dangerous things I might attempt to digest!    After grossing out the entire office, I had to tell them what it really was in my water.   We had a good laugh, then later…. I picked up (for the THIRD time) some left over Halloween bubble gum from the secretary’s desk and chewed it.     Unbeknownst to me, the bubble gum squirted out blue goo and turned my tongue and teeth blue.   Again, THREE times I did this before I noticed I was a sickly blue hue!  The secretary accused me of drinking the fertilizer water.  I brought a nice, clean, seal unbroken bottle of water today.   (I don’t know why I didn’t notice the broken seal yesterday.   I guess I was too grossed out.)

Dieting

A diet is a vain hope for losing weight.   For me anyway.   I’ve tried most of them at least five times.   Some of them were such bad experiences I only did them once.   One of those was “The Rice Diet.”   This is an almost salt free attempt.    The pounds will come off, no doubt.   Do you have any idea how insanely good Mexican tastes after a week of extremely low sodium?    It’s like a taste explosion!   Another one-timer was called (I think) the Mayo Clinic diet.     You get very little to eat:  an egg, a banana, a piece of toast, cottage cheese, and a few other equally bland items for three days; then eat “normally” for four days and lose 40 lbs in a month.   Apparently they had no clue what my normal was.    I did lose 10 lbs in three days.   I think I gained 12 in the four “normal days.”   Why bring this up?   Because it’s December 1.   I’d like to get a head start on the infamous New Year’s Resolution Diet (which generally is late getting started and lasts no longer than any other attempt.)

Why start today on a diet you can put off until tomorrow, or Monday, or the first of the month, or after the holiday, or…or… or…    My “grown-up Christmas list” includes being able to say on January 1, 2010, that I lost weight in December.    

Time to get to work...until later...