Monday Musings

Dear Florence Police Officer:  

North Wood Avenue really wasn’t the best place to pull someone over, was it?   Did you ever get to write that ticket?  It was nice of you, though, to stop what you were doing and direct the traffic jam you’d caused.

Dear Imbecile No 1:

You sure are borrowing uh-lot of money for an education.   Oh wait.   Your parents are probably going to pay that back, yes?    You should consider not insulting the higher learning institution you plan to attend as you sit in said institution completing your paperwork.  Perhaps you just like to run your mouth, and wouldn’t know facts if they reached up and slapped you…and getting slapped may be just what you need.

Dear Imbecile No. 2:

There are trash cans all around campus.   Was your need to rid yourself of your bubble gum so dire that you had to spit it out on the steps?   Act like an adult. 

Dear Roscoe:

Thank you.   You have given Ole Boy and me many smiles these few weeks you’ve been with us.   You have played such a large role in helping to mend our broken hearts.

Dear Blogger:

If you’re going to use big words while mocking someone else, use spellcheck.

Dear Wal*Mart:

Ever thinking of getting some new buggies?  How about just some new wheels on the old ones?   Seriously.  Kmart has very nice buggies.

Dear Lady at Wal*Mart:

I hope you calmed down!   You looked like Imbecile No. 3 dancing your rage out in the parking lot.  We’ve made fun of you several times.

Dear….you know who you are…

Kinda hurts when you stick your hand in a fan, doesn’t it?!

Dear Self:

You should probably reconsider calling God’s creations “Imbeciles.”