Monday Musings

Dear Olive Garden:

You never fail to disappoint.

Dear Lady:

You named your poor daughter “Delicious.”  I listened to her repeatedly answer the phone, “Thank you for calling Ramada Inn, this is Delicious.  How may I direct your call?”  

Dear Nancy:

The cat is out of the bag.  Gina told on me for mentioning Mom’s temper.  ::::looking around::::  Since we are out in the open, I think I can be brave and give you an example.   Once, my brother was sitting in the floor putting on his shoes, and he was steady sassing her.   Mom was at the stove with a butcher knife, peeling potatoes. (She used that knife for everything!)  Steve wouldn’t shut up, and she finally reached her high-water mark.   She whipped that knife around and popped him on the head with the big wooden handle.   He shut up.    ::::snicker::::

Dear Mom:

I never did figure out how you were able to drive a straight line and still reach in the back seat and…uhm…make my brothers and sisters straighten up and fly right.  (I was in the front seat behaving…always behaving.)

Dear Young Mothers of children everywhere:

When kids in the back seat start singing, “Someone fell out of the car!  Someone fell out of the car!”  It’s probably a good idea to check the rearview mirror for one of your own.   It can happen.  Just ask my mom.  

Dear Children of Young Mothers everywhere:

Don’t beat your fork and knife on the dinner table in unison while chanting, “Grub!  Grub!  We want Grub!”   It pushes a mom way past her high water mark.   Ask any of my brothers or sisters.  

Dear America:

How about these current events?  Wars and rumors of wars…earthquakes in diverse places… Don’t forget to pray!